Eildon Rhymer (rhymer23) wrote,
Eildon Rhymer

Time off

I think I am going to take a few weeks, or even a few months, off writing fanfic. I was on holiday last week, and while I was away, I did quite a bit of reading. Reading a new (to me) Sherwood Smith novel prompted me to reread her Inda series (to date; the final book is coming out in August), and even though it's a reread, I'm finding myself so gripped that I don't want to do anything else but read at the moment. Yesterday I didn't even switch my computer on until three hours after I'd come home from work, which is unheard of.

Although I'll have finished the series by the end of the week, it's highlighted to me how little reading I've done recently, and how much I miss it. I've never been good at holding more than one fictional world in my mind at the same time, so I find it hard to read novels while I'm also involved in writing fanfic in a different fandom. Moreover, writing takes up so much time. I've been a prolific fanfic writer in the SGA fandom, but that's been at the cost of many other things that I used to enjoy doing in my leisure time. Although I love writing very much and do it out of choice, I also, irrationally, have this sense that I ought to be doing it. If I have a free weekend, and fail to write loads of pages, I feel a sense of guilt and failure.

While on holiday, I went to a second-hand bookshop, and came out with two bags full of intriguing-looking books (non-fiction, mostly - history and popular science). I want to read them. I also want to read the lovely stash of books that I acquired after my last visit to a big second-hand bookshop - books that languish on my to-read shelf, since writing has left me with no time to read them. I just want a few weeks, or even months, when I can read without guilt. I want to play computer games without feeling guilty, and watch DVDs. I want to look at a weekend away with my Morris dancing group as a fun weekend away, without also thinking regretfully of it as a weekend in which I won't make any progress on my current story.

It is, of course, entirely possible that a story idea will hit me out of the blue tomorrow, loudly demanding to be written, and that this entire post will become a pack of lies, but for the moment, this is how I feel. I'm certainly not walking away from SGA fandom. I have to admit that my attachment to it has faded somewhat over the months since we stopped getting new episodes, but it's still there, and I don't have any other fandoms lined up. It's also true that I've been writing mostly AUs and OC-viewpoint stories for the last year, which is typical of me in the latter part of my attachment to a fandom. However, I do still have stories that I want to tell about the SGA characters. What I hope is that by taking a few weeks or months off from writing, I'll be able to return to it later in the summer, with my ideas refreshed and revitalised.
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