Eildon Rhymer (rhymer23) wrote,
Eildon Rhymer

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It's not my fault!

These two drabbles, and this picture, are most definitely not my fault. They are entirely the fault of the people who commented on the "drunken" drabble I wrote yesterday, and put these ideas into my head.

This is the drabble of the Bard Taleisin

Men went to Badon, swords girt for fighting,
Came they for war, but drink was their ending.
Arthur the Mighty gave them a buffet,
Cheese, wine and nibbles, and cutely-named cocktails.
Briton and Saxon joined in a conga,
Then lay down together, and...
[The following 350 lines are not suitable for decent readers, and have been omitted. Ed.]
Merlin the Old One spoke words of prophecy:
"Minds shall be fuzzier, hearts will be flirtier,
Heads will be sorer, as the mead lessens."
The day will be sung of as long as men remember…
So all will be forgotten by next sun rising.

Sir Thomas Malory writes the drabble of Camlann (first draft, later amended.)

Aftir the flagons were emptye, Kynge Arthur and sir Bedwere staggered syngyng to the water, and there the Kynge felle unto the grownde. "Takesht thou my swerde and throw it... I forget where. Bleugh."

Then, as the booke seyth, they beheld a barge with many fayre ladyes in hit, and the chief among the ladyes was full wroth, and quoth, "Six howres have we tarried for thee, while thou wast drynkynge with thy mates, and if thou thinkest we are lettynge thee onto this barge now, thou hast another thynk cominge." And so they departed to Avalon, but Arthur went not with them, but Arthur swened and knew it not.

And, finally, we have the Conga Line of Camlann in picture form. Merriman got a bit confused and forgot which Rising he was coming to, which is why he's looking awkward and small at the back. He's tried to cover up with a cloak, but it's not working very well.

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