Eildon Rhymer (rhymer23) wrote,
Eildon Rhymer

An adventure in Scotland

I've just come back from 11 days in Scotland.

I had stowaways.

One of those stories?


McKay: Oh. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. I think this is one of those stories. You know; one of those stories in which there is only one bed available, for some reason, and sleeping on the floor is impossible, for some reason, so we have to share a bed, and one thing leads to another and…

Sheppard: Oh. Were you saying something? I can't hear you. You're so far away.

McKay: Ah. I guess not, then.

There are a lot of bugs in Scotland


McKay: Squeeze harder! Squeeze harder!

Sheppard: I'm trying! It's harder than it looks.

McKay: Now I've fallen. Now when you manage to squirt, it will end up all over my…

Sheppard: Don't say it! In fact, don't say any of it. We should stop right here.

McKay: I refuse to go out in Scotland without protection from the bugs. I have very sensitive skin. Bugs are attracted to me. I have a bad history with…

Sheppard: Don't. Talk. To. Me. About. Bugs.

(pause, with pained grunting)

Sheppard: Why did we come to Scotland, again?

Visiting a castle


McKay: I'm… tired…. Can't… breathe. Have… done… three... steps… now. Are… we… nearly… there… yet?

Sheppard: Keep going, McKay

McKay: Why do we… need to… get to the top, anyway? Can't we… fly?

Sheppard: Says the person who wouldn't let me borrow that…

McKay: You wanted to… steal… a British Airways… jet


Sheppard: Technically, getting to the bottom should be easier than getting to the top…

A view


Sheppard: I can see my house from here

Scotland is frequently windy


Sheppard: Can't you even manage to sit upright, McKay?

McKay: I'm trying, but when the wind has a velocity of 40 miles an hour, and we're at an altitude of…


McKay (muffled and far away): Ha! Not so smug now, are we?

(Sheppard falls stoically. He lands in a thistle.)

A stone circle


McKay: Ha! Ancient architecture! Strange energy readings!

Sheppard: We should probably shoot them just to be sure



Sheppard: If you're the one who dropped his computer into the sea anemone, why am I the one who has to get it back?

McKay: Because you're the rugged manly one. I'm the brains of the operation.

A horrible accident involving hermit crabs



A trip into an Iron Age storage tunnel


Sheppard: No, there's nothing interesting in here

And then it all went horribly wrong…



Note: The actual, proper write-up of the holiday, with proper pictures of some of the places these two visited, is here.
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