Eildon Rhymer (rhymer23) wrote,
Eildon Rhymer
rhymer23

Filk

Anyone know if there's a community/website/anything for SGA filk? I've probably written a few dozen in the last year or so*, though most of them I've currently mislaid, since I wrote them directly into reply boxes on the Gateworld forum, and foolishly didn't save them anywhere. I do occasionally think I should try to track them all down and bring them together, but I'd love to see a unified SGA song book of all filks in all sorts of genres. (Mine are all Shep whumping ones.)

* Well, only if you count all the SGA nursery rhymes I wrote, and the sonnets.

In fact, the only one I seem to have a copy of is this one:



Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the whumping of the Shep.
See him stagger bleeding
With a brave but falt'ring step.
Are we pleased to see him thus?
Oh, hear us chorus "Yep!"
Our Shep is limping on.

Glory, glory, here be whumping!*
Glory, glory, here be whumping!
Glory, glory, here be whumping!
Our Shep is limping on.

The first I saw of whumping
Was a nasty clingy bug,
Which no-one could remove
With bullets, salt or great big tug.
Poor Shep looked pained and stoic
And in dire need of a hug,
But Shep went limping on.

Chorus

And then a few years later,
Kolya asked our Shep to tea,
Which wasn't that polite, 'cause Shep
Was bound and couldn't flee,
And Shep was on the menu,
So the whumpers squealed with glee,
But Shep went limping on.

Chorus

And through the realms of fanfic
Sheppard's shot and stabbed and bruised,
He's thumped upon the head
And rendered woozy and confused,
He's drugged and burnt and captured
And he's gen'rally abused,
But Shep goes limping on.

Chorus

So long live Colonel Sheppard
(We can't hurt him if he's dead.)
And long live all the whumpers
And the stories in their head,
And then across the internet,
May whumping spread and spread,
While Shep goes limping on.

Chorus

* Alternative version: Substitute "gory" for "glory"

Though I suppose you could count my entire SGA musical as a filk, since it's my third - yes, third; I'm a total glutton for punishment, since the rhyme schemes are hellish - version of the Buffy episode Once More With Feeling.

EDIT: Oh, I've just found my Christmas ones:



I'm dreaming of a whumped Sheppard,
For Sheppard whumps so well, you see,
And his blood, it glistens -
Oh, Santa, listen,
And give an injured Shep to me.

I'm dreaming of a whumped Sheppard,
A-hanging trussed upon my tree,
Or with blood-loss fading and slumped…
Or may all your Christmas Sheps be whumped.


__


Sheppard, the injured colonel,
Had a drippy, bleeding arm,
Bullets were in his shoulder,
His legs had come to awful harm.

Clothing was torn to tatters,
Showing lots of blood-stained skin:
Most of the blood around him,
Really should have been within.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
Rhymer, you are very wrong!
This is not a Christmas song!

Where's the uplifting moral?
Where's the plot, the elves, the snow?
There's nothing but whump description -
You naughty girl, please go, go, go!

___


Limping through the snow,
Barely walking straight,
Watch poor Sheppard go,
Stagg'ring to the Gate.
See his pallid skin!
See his pain-clenched fists!
From prison cruel he's just escaped,
With chains all his wrists.

Oh, jingle chains, jingle chains,
Jingle as he goes,
Jingle as he limps along,
Chased by all his foes.
Jingle chains, jingle chains,
Jingle as he goes,
Jingle as he limps along,
Chased by all his foes.

Following his trail,
The foes are getting near,
And Sheppard he is limp and pale,
He's going to die, I fear:
But, look!, here come his friends
What a lovely sight!
So that his how the story ends:
With Sheppard safe tonight.

Phew! Jingle chains, jingle chains,
Jingle as he goes,
Jingle as he limps along,
Chased by all his foes.
Jingle chains, jingle chains,
Jingle as it ends
Jingle as he lies in bed,
Rescued by his friends.

EDIT2: Ah! Odd file names in unusual places is the way to go. I've now found my Sound of Music ones. I can't find the American Pie one anywhere, though, or any of my nursery rhymes or ballads.



The Net is alive with the squee of whumpers
For whump is alive on the silver screen.
Our Shep looking whumped cheers the hearts of whumpers
Who squee with delight at each whump-filled scene.

Our Shep needs to fall and to bleed and to drip and to gout
While in he-roic pose.
Our Shep needs to swoon and to faint and to wake up in bed
Wearing not many clothes.
To turn into bugs and get eaten by Todd
and get covered with cream. *ahem*
and have whump that's extreme.
To suffer and hurt but always be loved by his team.

I squee on the Net when my Shep is wounded
I know on the Net there are more like me
My squee will be met with the squees of whumpers
And we'll squee as one.

__

"Doh!": the sound a whumped Shep makes
Ray: a Wraith who wields a blade
Me: a gal who loves her whump
Far: Shep's far away from aid
So, let's have some lovely whump
La! I'm singing here with glee!
Tea? I'd rather watch some whump
And when whumping stops I go "Doh! Doh! Doh!"
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