McKay: It's a cow!
Sheppard: Why would she have a cow on her desk?* Have you been inhaling lab fumes again?
McKay: I tell you, it's a cow!
Sheppard: Or Athosian spirits?
McKay: It is a cow. It's looking at me funny. Get out your gun.
Sheppard: I lost it in Scotland.** Doesn't she have a messy desk?***
* Because it's a learning cow. It's advertising adult learning. Presumably on the grounds that once adults learn stuff they realise the futility of plastic cows.
** Quite true. I suspect it's somewhere in a bog in Orkney
*** Also quite true, sadly.
Sheppard: Get this thing off me!
McKay: There's nothing on you.
Sheppard: It's a koala. A killer koala. With nasty sharp pointy teeth. Get it off me!
McKay: This is payback for the cow affair, isn't it? No, I'm not going to fall for it. You'll have to harder than this. A koala! As if she'd have a koala on her desk! *
McKay: Doesn't she have a messy desk? **
* I believe this one was a freebie from a publisher, but I have no idea why
** Still true, still sadly. One might be inclined to wonder how tidy the desk would be if its owner spent more time tidying it, and less time photographing action figures at work
Sheppard: Avenge... me...
McKay: Die, foul beast, die! Agh! It looked at me!
McKay: Mmm... Burgers....
Sheppard: Help me turn the page, McKay! I need to read this book - I need to!
McKay: This is all wrong! It's ridiculously oversimplified to the point of stupidity. It doesn't even mention relativity!
Sheppard: It's written for 4 year olds, Rodney.
McKay: And that makes a difference how? When I was four, I was...
(Sheppard wanders away)
McKay: This is childish, you know. This is very, very childish.
In which I put the boys to work promoting the library service
Sheppard: Join Team Read, children. All you have to do is read six books - any six books - over the summer and you'll get a medal.
McKay: I got my first medal when I was two.
Sheppard: Yes, thank you, Rodney. But you, kids, can get a medal just for reading books! How cool is that? It doesn't matter if you find reading hard...
McKay: Even a caveman like Ronon could do it.
Sheppard: You can read anything you like - easy or hard; storybooks, or books about planes or guns or... or dinosaurs...
McKay: Or bugs
Sheppard: And you'll get a medal and a certificate and it's really cool.
McKay: And if you read lots, you'll do well at school and you'll grow up like me. Not exactly like me, of course, because brains like mine only come along once in a generation, but something like me. Or you can spend your summer playing sport and never open a book at all and you'll grow up like him, flying spaceships and having hot girls throwing themselves at you and...
Sheppard: I thought we were supposed to be advertising this thing, Rodney.
Sheppard: Babies love books! If you share books with your tiny baby, it will help them...
McKay: Enrol your baby in the library or I'll shoot you. Now can we have lunch?