I had stowaways.
One of those stories?
McKay: Oh. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. I think this is one of those stories. You know; one of those stories in which there is only one bed available, for some reason, and sleeping on the floor is impossible, for some reason, so we have to share a bed, and one thing leads to another and…
Sheppard: Oh. Were you saying something? I can't hear you. You're so far away.
McKay: Ah. I guess not, then.
There are a lot of bugs in Scotland
McKay: Squeeze harder! Squeeze harder!
Sheppard: I'm trying! It's harder than it looks.
McKay: Now I've fallen. Now when you manage to squirt, it will end up all over my…
Sheppard: Don't say it! In fact, don't say any of it. We should stop right here.
McKay: I refuse to go out in Scotland without protection from the bugs. I have very sensitive skin. Bugs are attracted to me. I have a bad history with…
Sheppard: Don't. Talk. To. Me. About. Bugs.
(pause, with pained grunting)
Sheppard: Why did we come to Scotland, again?
Visiting a castle
McKay: I'm… tired…. Can't… breathe. Have… done… three... steps… now. Are… we… nearly… there… yet?
Sheppard: Keep going, McKay
McKay: Why do we… need to… get to the top, anyway? Can't we… fly?
Sheppard: Says the person who wouldn't let me borrow that…
McKay: You wanted to… steal… a British Airways… jet
Sheppard: Technically, getting to the bottom should be easier than getting to the top…
Sheppard: I can see my house from here
Scotland is frequently windy
Sheppard: Can't you even manage to sit upright, McKay?
McKay: I'm trying, but when the wind has a velocity of 40 miles an hour, and we're at an altitude of…
McKay (muffled and far away): Ha! Not so smug now, are we?
(Sheppard falls stoically. He lands in a thistle.)
A stone circle
McKay: Ha! Ancient architecture! Strange energy readings!
Sheppard: We should probably shoot them just to be sure
Sheppard: If you're the one who dropped his computer into the sea anemone, why am I the one who has to get it back?
McKay: Because you're the rugged manly one. I'm the brains of the operation.
A horrible accident involving hermit crabs
A trip into an Iron Age storage tunnel
Sheppard: No, there's nothing interesting in here
And then it all went horribly wrong…
Note: The actual, proper write-up of the holiday, with proper pictures of some of the places these two visited, is here.